Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
