The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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