One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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