guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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