I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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