Apparently you make a good broom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
