I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
