Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
