i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
