My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I could make wine with my vomit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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