a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she told me i tasted like america
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Randomize
