Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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