Porn is love you can see.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my shit smells like andre
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
