I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
