I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
