A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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