You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
