Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
