yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
