Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
