it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
