I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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