I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
