Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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