Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
