I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
