I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
