It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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