I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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