He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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