update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
