That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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