this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
