i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
