Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
