My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
