my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Panties = found
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