I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize