Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize