A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
