Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize