I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
