He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize