I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
