I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
