Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
