i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You just made me feel so damn special
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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