Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
