Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Even my vagina gasped.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
