We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
