so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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