Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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