omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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