garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
