His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
