im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Come on in and take your pants off
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