ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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