Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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