Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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